From the challenges to the joy: parenting a neurodivergent child

My son Noah was only four when it was first suggested that he may be displaying traits of neurodivergence. In his very first parents’ evening appointment, the teacher described how he found it difficult to focus and sit still on the carpet and may have some ‘issues’.

This left me reeling and, as I walked home, I remember crying my eyes out - I just wanted to know he was happy in school and making friends! We hadn’t noticed any of this ourselves. To us, he was just Noah - energetic and vibrant with a healthy dose of mischief and mayhem! 

We went through several appointments with various educational professionals quite early on in his school journey until eventually receiving a diagnosis of ADHD when he was nearly seven - although it took a few years to get there, it was in fact quite a speedy diagnosis based on the wait times I read about others experiencing.

At that point, the ADHD specialist advised his school of the reasonable adjustments that should be made to support Noah’s learning. The diagnosis helped us to push for appropriate support in the classroom and for certain allowances to be made in areas where Noah may struggle more than a neurotypical child. 

Throughout Noah’s time at primary school it very much depended on the teacher as to how his school year went. It’s fair to say that some years were more of a battle than others! Noah has always found classroom learning difficult - he is easily distracted by others talking or noises from outside, and needed regular movement or brain breaks at primary school to allow him to burn off energy or reduce the overwhelm. I am grateful to the teachers who made the adjustments he needed, gave him positive praise and supported him. 

Any working parent will tell you what a juggle it can be to keep your career going and fulfil all those responsibilities associated with family life. This is even more so if your child has additional needs.

You will have extra appointments you need to attend and times where you need to just drop everything to deal with something unexpected. But there’s also the additional mental load of worrying if you’re doing everything you can for them (whilst balancing the needs of their siblings too), researching information on their diagnosis and learning as much as you can to ensure you’re fully equipped to liaise with school regarding any challenges or push for what your child is entitled to.

Home life is potentially more chaotic too, with regular everyday tasks or routines having the potential to take longer than usual - homework has always been a particular stumbling block for us; it can impact the whole household and cause even the best of days to go awry! We are always mindful of the impact all of this has on Noah's sister too. And there are the usual sibling squabbles, of course, but she is also fiercely protective of him and one of his biggest supporters.

I don’t want to be doom and gloom. This is Neurodiversity Celebration Week after all! Whilst he has challenges, there are so many brilliant things about Noah. He is loving, witty and energetic. His enthusiasm knows no bounds meaning he makes the absolute most of any opportunity he is given - which has actually opened the door to even more exciting experiences for him. He has a huge amount of empathy and understanding, as well as fantastic conversational skills, showing interest in people by asking questions. When his confidence is low, these are some of the things I remind him about! 

Noah is now in Year 7 at secondary school and, whilst there have been ups and downs in his first year, he has made so much progress - organising and taking responsibility for his homework schedule, getting the bus to and from school and getting to grips with totally new subjects.

I was incredibly worried about the transition to secondary school; it is such a big step for all children and potentially an even bigger leap for neurodivergent children. But there have been benefits for Noah too, for example, each lesson is one hour long and Noah has a natural movement break between each lesson as he walks to the next classroom.

Staff at the school have been very supportive too, providing him with a timeout card to use when he feels overwhelmed or is getting fidgety, as well as having ongoing dialogue with us at home. 

Whilst I know a lot about ADHD and what Noah needs, I’ll be the first one to say that some days I deal with things better than others. We’re all learning and as he gets older there are lots of changes to deal with and new ways we might need to cope with that.

There will no doubt be challenges to face in future (like any parent approaching the teenage years!) I particularly worry about how he’ll cope with studying for exams, for example. However, I’m also keen for him to remember that he has lots of skills and abilities that can’t be measured on a test paper. 

For any other parents currently on this journey please remember to lean on those around you for support - that might be family, friends, an understanding teacher or local support groups, and a supportive workplace or manager can also make a huge difference.

Your children being safe, happy and loved is obviously the most important thing. No one has all the answers - that would be impossible as every day brings different challenges, big feelings and new learnings.

You’ll go through some times that are tougher than others. And there will be days when you don’t manage things as well as you’d planned - so give yourself some grace, let go of the guilt and go again tomorrow. And with that, I’m off to follow my own advice... 

Faye Smith is LionHeart’s supporter engagement and fundraising manager. 

Neurodiversity Survey 2025: Can you help?
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